The Day I Became a Mom

Today is Aaron's 2nd Birthday and I am awake in the early morning hours today just like I was that day! For some reason I couldn't sleep, so I thought I would type this out while I have a chance(I've learned that Aaron gets in the most trouble, the moment I decide to type something out on the computer!). So here is the story of Aaron:

There is a little bit of TMI in the story that follows!

3 years ago at this time, I had just gone through my first miscarriage and I was really struggling with keeping my head above water. I had never been through something like that and neither had anyone in my immediate family. I was scared that I would never have children and that this would just keep happening over and over again. It was one of the worst Christmases of my life for a few reasons. We bought Bella Beast(our little dog) in the hopes of filling that hole in our hearts, but that only worked a little bit. She was definitely not the same as a human child, lol, although her and Aaron both had similar struggles with sleeping through the night!

After 8 months of trying to get pregnant, I met Brian in Disney World(April 08). He had been at a school in Tampa, FL, so we thought it would be a nice reunion to meet in FL and have some fun at DW. We had been there for our honeymoon, but we didn't enjoy it as much as we could have at the time, because we were still adjusting to marriage and we both got sick at the end of our honeymoon and so we couldn't do much those last 2 days. So we had a do-over and it was a blast! We had a great time reconnecting(Brian had been gone about 6 weeks) and riding rides. We have been wanting a 3rd visit ever since. However a 3rd visit to DW was not in our immediate future.

4 weeks after our Disney Trip, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was extremely doubtful that it would be positive because I was feeling really crampy. So I closed my eyes while I took the test and after a few minutes of prayer I opened them. To my great surprise, there was 2 lines! One was extremely faint, but it was definitely there. I ran in the bedroom and jumped on Brian, screaming and yelling with excitement. I am sure he was a bit confused at this point, but eventually he was cautiously excited(we were both a little nervous about this moment after our miscarriage). We called up both of our parents before the test was even dry. My mom knew before I even announced that I was pregnant, I swear that woman can read my mind!


Our excitement didn't last long though. At 5 weeks 6 days(exactly when I miscarried the first time), I stood up out of bed and there was blood gushing down my legs. I immediately called Brian at work and told him what was going on. He rushed home and he drove me to the hospital. My Bible was in the car from Sunday still(this was happening the day after Mother's Day ironically). I picked it up and the first story I came to was the one of Hannah and Samuel(she had trouble conceiving and went to the temple to pray for a child). This verse will forever be in my heart: 1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me that which I have asked of him."

We got to the hospital and when I was examined by Dr. L, he said my cervix was already starting to open, but that he would do an ultrasound just to be sure. They did the ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. I was sent home with aftercare instructions for what they called an "Imminent miscarriage". I called my work and let them know that I would not be in for the rest of the week. After the week was up, I made an appointment with my doctor because something didn't feel right. The miscarriage was a little bit different than my previous one, the bleeding was lighter and it would stop and start. I was afraid I needed a D&C and so was my Dr, so he sent me across the street to the hospital for an ultrasound to see what was going on. I was by myself as Brian was on duty at work. I was really afraid of what they were going to say over at the hospital. I laid down for the ultrasound and the tech got to work. After a few minutes, she said something I will never forget, "Here's your baby's heartbeat." She said it so nonchalantly that I asked her to repeat herself. I had her print out a picture for Brian and I immediately called him. For some reason I don't remember him being that surprised, but boy were my friends at work surprised! Everyone was so happy for us, it was wonderful.

Here is that first picture(the blob on the right is the baby, the middle blob is the yolk sac, and the bottom blob is the bleeding)

Such a cute baby, wouldn't you agree! I continued to bleed heavily for 10 more weeks after that and then at 16 weeks pregnant, all of a sudden the bleeding stopped and didn't happen again until I was much farther along(34 weeks to be exact). We found out at 20 weeks that it was a boy:

We quickly decided on the name Aaron, Brian chose it(he chose if it was a boy and I chose for a girl, but we both had veto power). The middle name Scott(after my Dad) was chosen a few days later. But we kept his name a secret until he was born(we secretly love to torture our families!) Like I said previously, I had a bit of bleeding at 34 weeks, but it went away very quickly and there was nothing wrong with Aaron thankfully. A few weeks after that, after having very low blood pressure during the entire pregnancy, my BP shot up to scary levels! We did about a week and a half of monitoring, with a little break for Christmas. If you want to see a funny video of me at that Christmas, here ya go!

Christmas night, I had lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions(or that's what I thought at least), but they went away. The next day(the 26th), I had a monitoring appointment at the hospital and I didn't have any contractions on the monitor and they said baby looked fine, but my blood pressure was not looking good, and my protein levels were showing that I was developing preeclampsia. My Dr. (the same one who said I was miscarrying, lol) was hesitant to perform an induction before my 39th week because he was not an OB/GYN, but a family practice Dr.(we lived in Alaska at the time and the island that we lived on, did not have OB's), so we started one last 24 hour urine test(where they test for protein, a sign of preeclampsia).

I panicked, realizing induction was in my near future, so we went to Wal-mart and picked up a few homemade induction supplies, including Castor Oil. Castor Oil has a nasty side effect(violent diarrhea), so I decided I would hold off on it until morning that way I would not be up all night. We came home and I scrubbed the walls in our kitchen(most definitely nesting, not exactly a sane thing to be doing at 10 pm). We went to bed and at 3:30 am, I heard a loud Pop! followed by a gush of fluid. Simultaneously I had a sharp burst of pain. Thinking that I had peed myself(not uncommon during pregnancy), I got up to use the bathroom. When I got there, I realized my water had broken, so I went back to the bedroom and tried to wake Brian up. He just wasn't getting it though, so I decided to take a shower and clean up. I had to get on all 4's in the shower because I was in so much pain, but eventually I was able to get out. When I did, I found Brian awake in the hallway, he asked me if I was sure I was in labor and at that moment, another gush of fluid went down my leg. There was his answer, lol. So he raced around getting everything together, while I kind of dawdled around, alternating standing with cat/cow position in yoga. Every time I had a contraction, it was so painful that I couldn't stand or talk to Brian. I kept insisting that we had all the time in the world, so we should hang out at the house. Thankfully Brian had a clear head and realized that this was not the case, so he helped me out to the car and we began what felt like a very long journey to the hospital(in reality it was 10 minutes). I couldn't sit in the car, so I would alternate rolling from side to side. Brian asked me at one point if I was still sure I wanted a natural labor and I told him that I was starting to think I couldn't do it.

We got to the hospital and bypassed check in(the woman saw my face and knew I meant business!) and went straight up to labor and delivery. The monitoring room was full, so they put me in a regular labor and delivery room and proceeded to check me in, while in that room. As it turned out our favorite Dr. was on call(same one from all the previous experiences), but he was in the process of delivering 2 other babies. This was extremely rare, Kodiak only has 3 birthing rooms and all 3 were full! They check me and I was 8 cm dilated! I was in shock, the transition that everyone talks about was over(I went through it in the car apparently) and it was almost time to have my baby. It was too late for any pain meds, so I was having my natural labor that I had dreamed of. At 5:30 am, it was time to push, and at 5:56 am(2.5 hours after this wild ride began,in case you are counting), Aaron made his way into this world. All I remember about that moment was saying to Brian, "We have our baby, we have our baby" It was all I could say and 8 pounds 7.5 ounces we did indeed have our baby boy in my arms.

Our first moment as mommy and son

First picture of Daddy and Son

I can't believe it has been 2 years since that day! I remember parts of it like it was yesterday. Aaron has grown into a handsome, funny, lovable, and very spirited(read: lots of tantrums : )) little boy. Every day I look forward to his hugs and kisses, both of which he is very generous in giving out. Every time I hear his giggle, my heart smiles. He has the sweetest personality, he knows when he is being funny and will laugh or give you the stinky face.

Unfortunately, Brian is still stuck out of town and we are still stuck in our house due to the blizzard, so our celebrating will be low key today, probably breakfast in bed and I have some homemade pizza that I will make him for dinner. But we will hopefully be able to celebrate with Brian soon!

3 Little Boys + Cookie Baking

Equals a giant mess and a good time! Aaron had 2 little friends over to play this morning while their mom had a Dr.'s appt. I decided to keep them busy, so we baked sugar cookies and then decorated. It turned out nothing like I had planned, I had images of nice, neat, beautiful cookies and joyful children. None of those things happened(well, Aaron's friends had fun, but Aaron was in a giant tantrum most of the time because I wouldn't let him eat the dough or all the cookies). At least the kids had lots of fun and we have good memories of the morning. Aaron turning the mixer on by himself and spraying flour everywhere, one of Aaron's friends telling me that we should mix the frosting by hand and then doing so before I could stop him, little blue mouths from eating frosting, looking over the older friend's shoulder and noticing lots of dog hair in the dough(I realized he had dropped it on the ground and then picked it back up and rolled it out and cut shapes in it, lol) and Aaron stealing cookies off the counter before we could frost them.  I am learning to relax my expectations and really try not to imagine things in advance, because they rarely turn out that way, especially with a toddler, lol. Here are some pictures from this morning:

 Somebody was eating more frosting than he was putting on the cookies, lol.

 The kitchen aftermath, took 3 hours to clean up!

I Hear Ya, Loud and Clear!

Yesterday started out as kind of a tough day for me, I found out that we are definitely not pregnant again(19th month of TTC). About a month ago, I really felt God telling me that we weren't supposed to try this next level of medical assistance(shots, supplements, and a higher level of fertility hormones). So I started praying about it pretty much all the time. I told God that if he didn't want us to go through with this, then I needed that door firmly closed. The treatments had already been postponed 3 times at that point, due to our schedule(mostly Brian's). So we had planned for December, despite the fact that I was feeling this not so little nudging on my heart. Well, Brian called me up 2 weeks ago, from work and said that he was heading out of town again and the dates lined up perfectly with our treatment dates. Canceled again! This time I knew it was God, there was no getting around 4 canceled treatments and an expired referral from our insurance company. So I talked to Brian about it and it turned out he had felt that way all along! I told him that I wished he had said something awhile ago, I never would have let it go this far, if I had known that he didn't want to pursue medical treatment.

So we decided to go back to trying the old fashioned way, which has obviously worked once for us, so there is always the possibility that it could again. But unfortunately this was not our month and next month is out because of Brian's trip. So I was in pity party land yesterday and praying all morning that God would snap me out of this and help me to be satisfied with the family I have.

We went up to Chesapeake/Norfolk to do some last minute Christmas/Birthday shopping(my little guy will be 2 in 8 days!) and eat at Cracker Barrel(thanks Favorite Cousin Tommy for the gift card!). The whole way I was praying and I have to confess that I may have been a little bit crabby with my husband =( because of the way some portions of the trip turned out. We finished up our Target shopping and headed to Cracker Barrel. We sat down and had a really nice waitress. Aaron was being a little extra sweet that night, especially to the waitress, he was blowing her kisses and being a little ham. After our meal was over, she came by to drop of the check and we got to talking about Aaron. She said he was precious(I tend to agree, finally proof that I am not biased!) and then all of a sudden started talking about how her and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and been through all sorts of fertility treatments, including a recent IVF procedure that failed to work. My heart immediately went out to her, before I had Aaron it was so hard for me to see other people with their kid's, because it was such a visual reminder of what we had lost with our first pregnancy. So I told her that we had fertility issues and there is hope on the other side. That we have lost two, but we have one beautiful miracle. I really feel like God put her in our path to snap me out of it. And I am sure that he put us in her path to help her too. We left the store and went to the car and Brian turned to me and said, "I hope they don't pool their tips" and I asked him why, he said that he had given her a pretty generous tip, hoping that it would help at least a little bit (IVF is over 10,000 for a cheap one!). So obviously he felt like we had been placed there for a reason too. I pray that she is blessed with a family soon.

I may not be overjoyed by the fact that I am currently infertile for whatever reason, but I am so very thankful for my beautiful, happy, healthy family. I am reminded of that fact especially this time of year. I have not so distant memories of a very painful Christmas 3 years ago following my first miscarriage, and then the joy that the next Christmas brought with the birth of Aaron. I am also thankful for a God who answers prayers(and in this case, very quickly!)

A Toddler's Heart

Aaron and I decided to give Brian a break and the house to himself this afternoon, while we ran some errands. We dropped some stuff off at the church, then headed to Sonic for Happy Hour(half price drinks), Aaron had a Sprite and I tried something called a Cranberry Vanilla Coke(which was not even worth paying half price for, it wasn't good at all!).

After that we headed to the library to check out some books and movies. I love taking him there, #1 because everything is free and #2 because they have a great kid's room with puzzles, lots of books, and puppets. Plus it is kind of separate from the rest of the library, so I can let him run around in there and he doesn't have to be as quiet. When we got there, a woman and child were already in there playing with some puzzles. Aaron ran up to them and tried to take over this little boy's puzzle. So I walked over to "help" him share, and I noticed that the other child has Down Syndrome. After some puzzle fighting, they both decided they were done with puzzles and decided to play hide and seek with a little chase mixed in. It was so precious, my little guy has such a sweet heart anyway, but it was adorable to see him with this 5 year old little boy(who was essentially on Aaron's level developmentally) and watch them become fast friends. He obviously is at the age where he doesn't notice differences between people as much as an adult would. I wish that I was a little more like him sometimes, it is so awesome for me to see him loving on people, regardless of whether he knows them or not, whether they are different from him, or even sometimes when they don't like him (he can be pretty persistent with a few kids who aren't fans of his, lol. I really do hope that with our encouragement he will continue to show his love in such an outward way. Daily, I am the very lucky recipient of many hugs and kisses from this sweet boy. I am so blessed to be his mama!

On a less serious note, we had a super yummy dinner tonight! I decided to attempt an Indian dish(I've never had Indian food, much less cooked, so I was a little worried). It is called Butter Chicken or Chicken Makhani and here is the recipe. It was so good! The only change I would make is that I would have drained the tomatoes before adding them, it was a little too saucy, but it was still really yummy. I was worried that Aaron wouldn't like it because it had just a teeny kick of spice in each bite, but he chowed it down and Brian went back for seconds. I call that a success! I paired it with brown rice and salad. Definitely making it again and now I am feeling like I can be a little more adventurous with my cooking. My only note of caution is that the ground cardamom is a little bit expensive($10 for one of the taller containers), but I plan on making this a part of our meal rotation, so no biggie for me.

Please?

So we have been teaching Aaron that he needs to ask for things and not just grab them off the counter(we had a few incidents with cooking utensils!). The word that we told him to use was, "Please". It is kind of hit or miss whether he will actually use the word or just grab whatever the coveted item is off the counter. Today we were in baking mode and were making cookies and some other holiday treats(I so badly want to share what they are, but there are a few readers of this blog that will be the treat recipients, so I will refrain). I set the cookies on a rack on our low counter in the kitchen to cool and then went into the family room to change around the laundry. On my way back to the kitchen, I spot Aaron with two cookies in his hands and the head was bitten off one snowman, lol. I sat down with him and explained that he needed to ask and say, "please" before he could get cookies. He looked at me with his mouth full of chewed up cookie and said, "Pwease?" How can you resist that?!

P.S. I wasn't quite so lenient when he stole a 3rd and 4th cookie off the other counter, moments later. My goodness does that kid take after Brian, they are cookie monsters!

We are having Spaghetti and Meatballs tonight, a Pioneer Woman recipe of course! Quite honestly the best spaghetti and meatballs ever! We are also having garlic bread, I learned the neatest tip a few weeks ago. You melt the butter in a saucepan with some chopped garlic, then stick the bread face down in the butter mixture until it starts to crisp the bread just a tiny bit. Then you pop it in the oven for 10 minutes on 425 degrees. Perfect!

Aaron and his Best Buds(and a recipe!)

I have several Aaron stories saved up from this week, so I am going to write them all down at once so that I don't forget!

First up, we were at Wal-mart last night and we took a shortcut through the bras and underwear section. Brian told Aaron to hide his eyes and Aaron made the cutest little scrunched up face and closed his eyes. It was so cute! He can now close his eyes on command, Brian tested it out a few more times during the Wal-mart trip and each time Aaron closed his eyes.

This morning we had a visit from Parents As Teachers(a program that teaches parents about their child's developmental stages and fun learning games to play with them). Aaron was talking about Carl the whole time Miss Lyndsey was at our house (Carl was locked up inside the bedroom with Brian). When it came time for Miss Lyndsey to leave, Aaron walked her to the front door and usually he stands there waving and saying byebye, but this time he hurriedly said bye to her and then immediately went to the bedroom door and pushed it open and when he found Carl he was so excited! We let Carl out and Aaron ran around screaming Carl's name. They really are best buddies!

Final story, we were getting ready to leave the house today and I noticed a wet spot on our hardwood floor. Since we have a small dog with potty issues, I asked Brian if it was pee or vomit, he looked at it and decided it was vomit. Aaron loudly announced, "Eww!" He got it right on the money, lol.

Tonight, we had homemade pizza for dinner and I think I finally have found the right combination to make a really good pizza.

For the crust, I use Pioneer Woman's recipe found here , but I am not a big fan of the way she bakes her crust. So I combined her recipe with baking method I found on Our Best Bites and it turned out perfect. Instead of her 4 cups of white flour, I add 2 cups of white and 2 cups of whole wheat flour(King Arthur is a really good brand, but I have a sneaking suspicion it is only sold in the south, because I had never heard of it prior to moving here) instead. I don't do all whole wheat because it gets a little too dense for me. Anyway, after all the rising is done, I preheat the oven to 425 degrees. I put half the dough(PW's recipe makes two crusts, so I freeze one) on a pizza stone and roll it out. I use a fork to poke several holes in the dough (prevents too many bubbles), brush it with olive oil, and sprinkle some garlic salt on it. Then you bake it for 10-12 minutes (10 is perfect in my oven).

After you pull it out, you can put on the toppings, I use this sauce (it is really cheap to make, approx. 40 cents per pizza and it makes enough for 2 pizzas, so I freeze half along with the other half of the pizza dough). Tonight we had just plain cheese, usually we are Canadian Bacon, pineapple and olive people. I used a combo of mozzarella and Parmesan and sprinkled it with oregano. I baked it for another 10 minutes in the 425 degree oven. It was honestly the best homemade pizza I've made yet! It has taken lots of tweaking but I finally did it and way cheaper than ordering out!


I am off to bed now, we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow(heading out of town to start our Christmas shopping!)

Yumm!

So on a whim tonight, I decided it would be fun to have another blog(one I actually remember to post on!) I've been getting lots of comments on Facebook from people who enjoy hearing funny Aaron stories, so I thought it would be nice to have a place to write it all down. It won't be all Aaron all the time though, probably some pictures and recipes too!

But for now here is the story that led to this blog:

Brian and I were feeling a tad stir-crazy so we decided to head to Wal-mart just to browse(something we do quite often). On the way there, Brian had a Sonic craving, so we headed there first. Aaron hadn't eaten dinner yet, so we bought dinner for the 3 of us. Aaron hasn't been a big fan of grilled cheese(his usual fast food choice) lately, so we bought him his first corn dog. I handed it to him and said, "Yummy, a corn dog!" To which he replied, "Mmmm, Bella!" Bella is our Westie and one of Aaron's two favorite doggies. We(Brian and I) died laughing! It was so funny, I'm not sure he knew what he said, but it was pretty cute!